Things to Think About

Planking with style

Happy Thursday Everyone!

I am not progressing at the gym like I would like. Mainly because I can’t get there as much as I’d like. Even though its only 2 days a week, its been a struggle. If I run late at work (which tends to happen at least once a week) I can’t make it to class on time. It is what it is. So, I was going to quit the gym for now until I can commit fully to the 2 times a week. They told me I could do 1 time per week. Its not ideal, but at least I know I can get there 1 time a week and I am still trying. I feel like this is a neverending journey. I am always going to have to try and keep at it. And for fucks sake, I need to lose these 15 lbs! Ugh.

Moving forward ! Went to class tonight . Let me tell you bitches…. I rocked it. I felt amazing! It has been a while since I left the gym happy with how I did or what I did. I am ALWAYS the fat chick. And with being the fat chick, comes modifications to the movements. Its discouraging but, I gotta move anyway I can . I really love these classes because the structure is perfect for me. Short intervals of all the movements.

Every class we plank. Multiple times . And multiple times a night i can’t hold the plank. Even though its just a minute, I usually break.

BUT NOT TONIGHT PEOPLE!!!! Thats right! This fat ass held each and every plank!!!! The whole time!!! Huge for me. I know it seems so small, but man, I was PUMPED!

Every class we usually use the treadmills. Again, short periods of time, but again its a treadmill and running. My nemesis. I have been working myself up to running every time. Its been slow going.

BUT NOT TONIGHT PEOPLE!!!! Thats right again. This bitch ran on the treadmill each time. Me!

I know that these victories are small and will seem small to most of you , but to me, tonight was freaking awesome. This journey has been so long, with ups and downs like crazy. Filled with disappointment in myself. BUT NOT TONIGHT PEOPLE!!! I am so proud of myself.

I have done Crossfit. Not perfectly , but I got some excellent training and form. I can say that , the moves I can do , I do have good form. Its getting the rest down thats an issue. I want to be able to do each move the proper way . I get so down on myself . But then I look over at the people in class, and I am doing some of these moves with better form. Another little victory for me! I am not judging everyone for their skill set. Just merely using it for my own self esteem, lol.

All in all, despite my being upset with myself as of late in the gym, I am so happy with tonight. It feels good. So damn good. Now my issue will be to see if I can do it next class!

Things to Think About

The Bitch is Back , Baby!

Hello my good people! How is everyone doing ? How are we surviving this global pandemic?I feel like I am always writing that I am back.  So , here I am . Not giving up. Still swimming, still moving forward.

I know a lot of you have joined me on this journey since the beginning and I am so grateful.  But for those just joining us, lets recap:

2013 – started weight loss program – working out on a regular basis – lost about 30 lbs during

2014 – Halloween – found lump and started my Meganitis journey trying to find diagnosis and treatment

2015-2017 intermittent time in the  gym , struggled with intense pain and exhaustion

2018 -June  had sleeve gastrectomy surgery

2019 – May started Rituaxan infusions

2020- November – back into the gym

Along the way , dealt with the pain and discomfort of Meganitis, making life much more difficult.

So, here I am.

2017 with Ross Marquand aka ” Aaron ” on Walking Dead
July 2020

I’ve come a long ass way and there is so much further to go. I am very excited to report that I have found a new gym!  It has been really difficult to find a program, that is what I am looking for and works with my schedule.  I have been very lucky that I have been working this whole pandemic so I had to find something that I could do after work . I was on my way home from work and I  saw a sign like 5 minutes from my office. 

The gym is called Pulse Fit.   I am really enjoying this program.  I contacted the owner and had my free introductory class.  Kicked my ass! And I loved it!  It a circuit training program with  the movements changing everyday.  It is super fast paced,but I am  starting to catch on ( I think) I just try my best. Honestly, I am terrible at 75 % of the movements but I do the best I can and I am happy with that. I like that it is short intervals of everything,like 2-3 mins,  cause that’s about as long as I can last lol.  Class is an hour long.  I am a dripping sweaty mess and its awesome.  I am dying  during class, but its a welcomed death.

I am really hoping this is the catalyst that gets me under 200 lbs.  A whole new world has opened up since I started my infusions.  It sucks I have to spend the day in the hospital every 4 months, but, 100% worth it to feel good. 

I am happy and am confident that I am moving in the right direction.

Daily Rants and Raves

Mind Over Body

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The past few days , good ol’ Meganitis has been reminding me that she is still here.  My damn armpits are hurting again.  Yup. It’s as wonderful as it sounds.  I am really trying to not let this rule my life as It has.  There are surely going to be days where I need to listen to my body, but I am just getting back into working out, so I was determined to go last night.

It was a long work out:

1 min of each for 5 rounds, 1 min rest between rounds

Battle Ropes

Bike

Burpee Tire Flips

DB High Plank Rows 7.5 lbs

Goblet Squats 15lb KB

 

Going into it I was worried about the burpee tire flips.  Burpees + Me = No Bueno.  My burpees are terrible, I am limited on how I can do them with my knee and my mobility, but I can do a modified version.  I managed to do about 3 each round, I found that to be a victory.

The thing I struggled he most with was the DB High Plank Rows. And I was only using 7.5 lbs! UGHHH.  Sweet Baby Jesus were my hands killing me.  Its a lot of weight to be resting on those dumbbells.  I didn’t think I would struggle with it as much as I did, but man was it hard.  At one point, I tried to pick my hand up and it just would not go.  But I didn’t give up.  I was slow but I kept at it.

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I think another thing that is affecting me and the Meganitis is the weather.  It’s been pretty rainy here and it does a number on me.  As I type this , my armpits are throbbing.  I can feel my lymph nodes enlarging.  I am just praying that I can hold the Meganitis at bay.

Having a chronic illness sucks.  Not knowing what it is, sucks worse.  I know it could be way worse and by no means am I having a pity party. It just sucks.

Getting into a mental state of mind where I can let go of the illness and just be me, is not easy.  It is hard to get in a mindspace that I can be stronger than this and I can’t let it rule my world.

Honestly, today I have felt like I just want to crawl in bed and not move, but its after 10 pm and I am not even in bed yet, lol.

It is a challenging journey that I am on.  I can only take it day by day and

Just Keep Swimming !

 

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Daily Rants and Raves

Partner WOD

Partner WOD. I hate the word.

As I hate hell, all Partner WODs.

Partner WOD is, in my opinion , the worst damn thing that can be on the board in the gym besides burpees.  For those that are physically unfit, the Partner WOD is our chance to drag down our partners and struggle to keep up.  That’s not exactly how it is, and if you ask any partner of the unfit, you will get the ” don’t worry about it”, ” no big deal response”.  But for me, its like a death sentence.

I know, I know , I am being super dramatic. But picture this if you will.  Me, being the new kid on the block again , not knowing ANY of these people and knowing how limited I am . And these folks, I am sure were like, ” Ain’t no body got time for her” (they were all actually very nice, but still ) I could feel the sense of fear in my eyes as the coach  was explaining the work out.  I even offered to do it by myself so I would not bring anyone down.  No go.

It’s not that I don’t want to be part of a team or have a partner – some folks are hardcore, balls the wall, keep track of every rep and push it to the limit.  I would never want to hinder anyone’s success. That’s my issue with it.  On the other hand , it is nice to have some one to push you.

So the way the workout went yesterday was partner 1 did a run, then partner 2 did a move.  There were 3 of us in my group, my set was based on one persons stuff, so when she ran, I rowed. Here is how I did:

35 min AMRAP

Row 506m (rowed while partner ran )

DB Hang Squat Cleans 7.5lbs ( ugh but man it was hard!) 26

Rowed 490 m

159 single jumps

Rowed 470m

Kettlebell swings 18lbs – 32

Rowed 438m

Hands Release Push Up – 13 (I was DYING at this point )

Rowed 460m

DB Hang Squat Cleans  15

Row 480 m

140 Single Jumps

So first off – it was an AMRAP and Any AMRAP I go into praying to the Gods that I can make it through at least 1 round . This workout I was able to due to the fact it was a partner WOD. So yeah , victory ! In my eyes . And I only said “Just Keep Swimming ” twice , lol. Those pushups, man , those were rough .

All in all , I am really happy with the workout I did . I was feeling great and dying at the end – so to me , total success! I really think these classes are going to be awesome for me .

It’s all coming together!

Hope you all have a great rest to your week!  It’s Thursday, that means I need to do my shot, it’s a pain in the ass but a small price to pay for feeling better.

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Daily Rants and Raves

A good workout a long time coming

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Hello everyone!

Let me tell you – I feel good! I had a great workout last night.  It was tough but  a good tough, for me, and it was modified for me , which was great too.  But it kicked my ass.  I have been searching for a new class. I need to workout.  I know what works for me and the classes work.  I don’t want to go to  regular gym, I need the structure of the classes and the push of the coaches.  I have found what I am looking for!

So, I gave it a whirl last night.  I was terrified and excited all at the same time.  After the warm up – it was go time.  The workout was a ladder, work down it, then do it in reverse. Here is the work out as I did it:

125m row – 10 mountain climbers – 40 single jumprope jumps – 10 BW squats – 125 m row – 10 HR pushups – 40 Single jumps – 10 reverse lunges – 125 m row – 5 burpees ( way modified ) -40 single jumps – 10 broad jumps – 125 m row – 10 knee raises ( or knee raise attempts ) – 40 single jumps – 10 knee raises ( or attempts) -125m row – 10 Broad jumps – 40 jumps -5 way modified burpees  – 125 m row – 10 reverse lunges – 40 jumps – 10 HR pushups – 125 m row – 10 BW squats – 40 jumps – 10 mountain climbers – 125 m row

My time was 26:36.  This , I thought was a great first workout back.  It felt great to be working out.  And I only said “just keep swimming ” to myself 2 times, lol.  Those damn burpees. Even barely being able to do a modified version of them, I was dying.  Somethings never change.

I am sore today , but its a good sore and its not a Meganitis sore,so that is even better.  I really feel this is going to be good for me and I am excited to be starting this new part of my journey.

Never give up .  Even if your journey takes you down long twisted paths, as long as you make your way to your happiness – it doesn’t matter how long it takes.

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Things to Think About

I Feel Good Today !!!

Holy crap!!! It’s true – I FEEL GOOD!!!!

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I do not know what caused this change but man, is it great.  I am not sore .  I am not in pain.  My skin is not on fire.  My armpits do not hurt.

I don’t know why any of this has happened or how long it will last, but baby, I am rolling with it.

I have been really evaluating my life lately.

Things I know for sure:

  • I have to lose this weight – I talked to Coach Jane and next week I am starting back at the gym.  I have tried all sorts of ways to lose weight and honestly, the thing that worked for me the best was going to the gym and training with a coach.  And Coach Jane is incredible.  She pushes me and that is what I need.  I just gotta push through the pain . Now hopefully my workout clothes still fit.  I am really excited.  But I know that taking this step in the condition I am in is going to challenge me immensely. Hopefully this old broken body is ready for this ride.
  • I need to change my diet.  I have read that the best diet for reducing inflammation is the ” Mediterranean Diet” Basically heavy on the fish and omega 3 oils.  Yeah, I cannot eat fish. I can’t stand the smell of it, I think I have been scarred by too may co-workers microwaving fish …… UGHHHHHH.  But, I need to do something, I think I am going to give Gluten Free a try again , I am still on the fence, but I need to make a change.
  • I need to take care of me.  I need to listen to my body and not overdo it.
  • I am so blessed and lucky.  I have such a great family.  You should be jealous.  I am just so lucky.  I am lucky to have been raised by the most incredible creature to ever walk this earth.  I am lucky because I have a partner in life who has my back.  He is more than my rock. He is my strength.  I am lucky because I am a mother to 3 kids who continually amaze me.  I have good kids.  I am so proud.  I am lucky because I am the oldest of 3 girls and I have sisters that give me such strength when I am down . They have given my nephew and nieces, great men I consider brothers.  I have friends who are more than friends, they are family.  I have aunts and cousins who I actually talk to and see.  They are more than cousins, they are my big bros and big sis.  I am lucky because I have a good job.  I am thankful we have a roof over our head and food in our bellies.

 

Today was a good day . I am hopeful that it continues and I can become a human again.

Gotta see the light through the darkness.  I need to do that more often.  It’s the best way to honor my mom. She dealt with so much, I feel bad bitching about my issues , knowing how much she had to endure.  I miss her so much.  Grief is horrible.

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But ==== I am not going to wallow!!!! Mum would not want that.

Today was a good day and I am rolling ( or swimming ) with it.

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Things to Think About

Another Day Down and I’m Still Standing 

Happy Friday Everyone!

I’m well into my reboot of my fitness journey . And honestly, I am doing way better than I anticipated! I’m still standing !

I have accepted that I need to take it slow and I am in a good place about it . I did the Piyo the other night and then tonight I did 10 mins of cardio , then 15 minutes of Piyo . I know it’s only 25 minutes but something is better than nothing .

It’s strange to say I’m in this place now . But I guess being sick and limited to things will open your perspective.

In addition to my feeble workout attempts this week , I stopped drinking soda . I’ve been drinking carbonated water , it’s fizzy and gives the soda feel . Good alternative I think .

All in all I feel I really good about things so far .

Gonna keep an open mind and keep on swimming 🙂

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Daily Rants and Raves, Things to Think About

Trying Something Different

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Hello Big World! I know , I know, its been months.  It’s not  you, its me, lol.  So, if I’m being honest, I have been a lump.  I am dealing with chronic illness ( fibro and still undiagnosed “Meganitis ” )  and all the joys ( NOT ) that go along with it and basically just trying to stay afloat in this crazy world.  Long story short, I am in pain everyday.  And fatigued. Good Lord, the exhaustion !  I wish I could find a way to combat it.

So, I have been wallowing in this pit of dispair and honestly , its been 2 years I have been down , if we are counting .   I have let it hold me back and control me and I need to break free . I have read several times that exercising , while it will hurt, in the long run , I will feel better. I think I owe it to myself to explore these options.

Nothing in life would make me happier than returning to Coach Jane and Crossroads .  Unfortunately that is not in the cards right now, but I am not writing it off down the road a ways.  I need something I can do when I have energy, which means working out at home.  I need need something low impact while my body adjusts .

So, I have decided to try something new to see if it helps me. I could be completly wrong and this could blow up in my face, but I am going to give it a go. I am currently on Gabapentin for my issues and let me tell you , I thought I was nuts when I had gained 40 lbs, but it turns out , lots of folks gain weight with Gabapentin. I need a way to combat it, cause honestly , I am less sore when I take my meds and really don’t want to change that up right now.

I joined some Fibro support groups to see if I could relate to some folks and get just some general info.  Its a real great forum .  Here and there folks would post about if they were working out and the thing that came up more and more was Yoga and Piyo . Piyo is a Beachbody program.  After a lot of research and speaking to people, I decided to give Piyo and the Beachbody programs a try. I am a bit nervous since even when I was working out, yoga was not something I was into, but I kinda need this is going to be my wheelhouse for a while.

I plan on diving in tomorrow .  I gotta get a yoga mat.  I will check in and let you all know what I think .

Hopefully, I can find the balance and shake this funk.

Thanks for coming on the swim folks!

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Daily Rants and Raves

Baby Steps

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Good Evening Everyone !

It is with extreme happiness that I can tell you I finally did it = got my tookus back to the gym!

I got my new medication after my rhumetologist  stepped in  .  It arrived on Friday  and I started the injections that night.

I am still nauseaous, but it is not as much as it was before. I am hopeful that after a few weeks, it will decrease significantly .  The best part is that my doctor okay me getting back to the gym as long as I ” listen to my body “. So, I contacted my coach Jane at       Crossroads Strength and Conditioning to see if it would be okay if I came back with my issues.   And she said of course! Definitly knew that I was going to basically do everything modified but I had to get moving.  ANYTHING is better than nothing, right?!

So, started new meds.

Ready to go back to the gym.

And oh yeah, decided to jump on the Gluten Free train.  Let me explain : I had read multiple articles regarding Gluten and inflammation , so I figure, what the heck, I’ll give it a shot. So far I am on day 3.  Honestly, this is 2 days better than I thought I was going to do.  I’m not sure how long that I can keep it going, but if it helps, I am going to give it a whirl.

I got back into the gym and the warm up itself was already killing me , lol.  Onto the workout : here is my severly modified version .  No laughing out loud, 🙂

4 rounds

30 wall throws ( like the baby sister of the wall ball ) just tossed the ball at the wall

20 Step ups on the little box

10 DB snatches!!!! 15l bs —–> I LOVE SNATCHES! AND I COULD DO THESE NOT MODIFIED!!!

5 Push ups – these I did standing up leaning into the bar on the rack.  Truth be told, I totally could feel this in my arms and chest way more than any pushups I had done before.

I completed all 4 rounds – total victory ! And under 20 minutes!

This was complete baby steps.  And this will be for quite some time, I am sure.  This time around , I need to do the baby steps.  I used to get really frustrated when I thought of how far I had come or how much I could lift or do, but this time, I can’t be like that .  It’s wasted energy.  I am just going to roll with it and see how it goes.

Its been a productive week so far.  Hoping to get back in the gym tomorrow. Starting slow with 2 times a week.

Gotta Keep Swimming !!!!

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Things to Think About

Gotta Run on Marathon Monday

Most of you are aware , I’m a Massachusetts gal . Masshole through and through .

3 years ago Boston was attacked by 2 cowardly brothers at the Boston Marathon . So many people hurt and maimed and in the end , 4 souls lost . Boston is not to be messed with , we literally shut the city down to find these assholes . And they did . And while only 1 of them is answering for their heinous crimes , thousands have risen above with their courageous will,  to show that we will not be brought down by hatred .

All this being said , yesterday was Marathon Monday here in Boston . Since I started working out , every Marathon Monday , the workout has a running element . Yesterday was no different , but in so many ways – for me – it was .

We all know my struggles with running . Since I resumed working out this year , I haven’t run . I’ve been rowing instead . But how could I not run in Marathon Monday ? So , I figured , I gotta run .

The workout was great .

It was an Amrap in 26.2 mins .  I completed 3 rounds ( def went over time, but not by much)

4 wall climbs – can I just tell you ? I got up there ! I didn’t think I would be able to move my legs up the wall . Now , of course , I wasn’t flush up the wall or able to move my hands back , but hot damn ! I was on the wall ! And it wasn’t even the struggle I remember .  Victory

18 wall balls – I don’t even know what weight I had , but these seem to come easier to me than they did before . Still hard , don’t get me wrong , but I keep moving.

16 Burpees – these were modified , but even then , these were still hard for me

26 lunges – I having some knee issues lately, my best guess is all this weight has caught up with me, I just need to work at it and get the weight off. I am sure they will stop bothering me. Anyways, I did reverse lunges on the TRX. And while modified, man did those kill.

Then – you guessed it. dun dun dunnnnnnn…….. THE RUN

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The run was 200 m . I completed the first one. Slow and Steady , not really a run, or a jog, but faster than a walk.  I was almost back when my calves started burning which was always my issue.  So, the next 2 runs, it was modified, so it was almost 200 m, prob more like 175 or 150. Anyways, I had to do it. As I am there dying, trying to not stop, all I could think about was there were people who literally lost  limbs completing the marathon. Folks who lost so much in the bombing and they are running 26 miles, and my fat ass can’t even jog 200 meters? Sweet Baby Jesus. I suck.   Between that and my ” Just Keep Swimming ” mantra, I finished. 3 runs, 3 rounds. And I did not stop.  I think that was the part that I was the most ” like wow” about .  I completed each “run”  without walking.  For me, this is GINORMOUS. Freaking Huge.

I was really thinking about this as I was doing the workout.  This time around, I feel like all these moves are coming easier to me. Even with the modifications, maybe that’s why.  Its still a struggle to do things, and honestly, I hope it always is, as I get better , more fluid with it and able to do things fully .  I feel so much more accomplished this time around.  Even Coach Jane was saying I am more confident.

And I really am.  Weird for me. To be confident in anything is quite different for me.  I have the worst self esteem and always have.  I think the worst of myself.  I am working on it. Working on me. And truth be told, I kinda like who I am right now and where I am going. I’m trying and I guess that is the best I can do .

Gotta keep at it! Looking forward to Lift Day on Wednesday!

 

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