Daily Rants and Raves

The Last First Thanksgiving

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We are on the cusp of the Holidays.

I am dreading this. How do I do the holidays without my mom? I know , I know, people lose people every second of every day, I am no different. I have lost before. It royally sucked when my sweet Gram passed in 2015.  And that year the Holidays were hard, but how do I do this?

For God’s sake, I can’t even write about how I am even going to begin to deal with this and I need to figure it out asap.  I just don’t know.

My daughter and I watch the Voice every week.  Our favorite is Janice Freeman, if you have watched it this season – you need to discover the absolute powerhouse that is Janice Freeman.  That being said, Janice was last to perform last night, well after my daughters bed time.  Right before Janice was about to come on, my daughter walks out of her room in tears, clutching her bunny she made with Nana, crying about how much she misses Nana.  Breaks my heart every time.  I kinda think it was Mum this time making sure she got to see the person she wanted.  I know its a stretch, but hey,I will cling onto anything I can , lol.

I am terrible at this. I really am . I need to be the one there for my kids when they are upset, especially when it is about Nana, and instead I am joining in the cry . Or crying everyday.  Like, when does this get better? When does the pain subside? I want to make my mom proud .  I feel like I was such a let down in her life.

I gotta find my way in this world and I don’t know how to take that first step.

I love writing this blog, It is such a release for me.  I think its time for a revamp, hopefully in the coming year, I can give it a fresh makeover.

Hope you will stay along for the swim.

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Things to Think About

Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever

” Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever ”   is one of the last coherent things my sweet Gram said to me.  She was in CCU at the hospital and she knew she was getting ready to take her final journey.  It means so much to me, that I got it tattooed on my forearm, so I can always look at it and she will always be right within arms reach.

My Gram Tattoo

Thanksgiving is spent at Gram and Gramp’s house every year.  I have been dreading it.  I know as soon as I walk in that house and she is not at the stove, and then not at her chair, I am going to be a puddle.  I have been trying to prepare myself as best I can, but I am failing.  I miss her so very much.  I’m kinda hoping that writing this today will help me.

Honestly, its not like I have not dealt with loss before,  I have.  Plenty of folks have left us for better places. I just miss her so terribly.

It’s no secret I love bread .  I love my rolls too.  And every year I would walk in and Gram would say to me  how she got some nice rolls  for dinner.  That came across my mind yesterday and I lost it.  It’s funny how the little things bring back the most memories.

I know the best way to handle it and to honor her is to go today so we can all be together like she would of wanted.  I just wish she was here instead.  Not to mention, this will all happen again on Christmas Eve because that is another holiday spent at their house.

So – to honor my Gram I am sharing with you some photos of this amazing woman.  Things that bring such joy to me when I see them.

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4 Generations

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These are just some of the pictures I have .  Gram loved all of us so very much and she made sure we always knew it.

I am blessed.  I am honored.  I am thankful. I am lucky.  I had 35 years with an incredible woman in my corner.  My children had the rarity of having a long relationship with a great grandparent, who she adored and they adored her.  My husband got another grandmother.  My friends got another grandmother.

She was everyone’s Gram.  That was so evident during her services.

On Thanksgiving , she would always make sure everyone had a plate to eat before she would even allow anyone to prepare anything for her.  I feel like I should bring her a plate today , and maybe I will.

Hug your loved ones tight, let them know how much you love them, EVERYDAY.

No matter how old they are , no matter how sick, no matter how healthy, no matter how far you are.  Let those you love know they are loved.

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone,

Meg

 

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Daily Rants and Raves

This week so far

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Good Morning People!

I have been at it this week with the workouts!  This week is a shorter week at my gym, so I had class Monday and Tuesday.  I wanted to make sure I got in as much as I could before I stuff my face on Thursday.  And yes, I will be stuffing my face.  Not overdoing it too much, but a good face stuffing here and there never hurt anyone 🙂

What are you looking forward to on Thanksgiving? I, most of all, am looking forward to time spent with family ❤

These are my workouts from this week so far, lets break down how I did:

Monday

We did Squat Clean practice – 6×3.  I improved! My weight went from 55 lbs to 65 lbs! I felt kinda stuck at 55 lbs, I am so glad I am stronger so I can increase it.  Not saying I want to be a body builder by any means, but this experience has totally changed my perspective on fitness and what I want out of mine. So, yeah, I want to be fit an able to lift a bunch of weight.

Then we had a 15 minute WOD – 4 rounds.

10 Alternating DB snatches – 35 lbs! – I really like snatches, I have since I started them, I felt 35 lbs was challenging too. But I did it!

15 Hollow Rocks – now these bad Larry’s….. ugh. I got through them, but thought I was going to snap in half.  They totally sound like fun, like you are a human see saw, until you do them.

25 Double Unders – so we could count our Double Under Attempts, which I did not hear the first round, so I did a bunch. My DU’s are still a work in progress, but I got 4 in a row, so that was good.  I got a lot more than I have in the past in the workout, so more progress.

My time was 16:04 ( they let me finish the last of the DU’s) I finished later, but I finished. And for me, that is cool beans.

Tuesday

We did Back Squat technique and practice and handstand practice before the WOD.

50 Back Squats – 55 lbs

40 V ups

30 Power Cleans – 55 lbs

20 Lateral Hop Burpees – oh my Sweet Baby Jesus! Burpees are my current nemesis. They take me forever.  Mostly because I cannot get my legs to jump in, so I kinda waddle it in.  I really need to find a way to get better at them. Honestly, we do them a lot and I feel I should be better, guess it is going to take some at home practice.

10 Hand stands – okay, so It was supposed to be handstand push ups, but I am not there yet. At least I am on the wall, and can do a handstand.   I have to work on getting myself to stay on the wall.  But at least I did not fall this time!  I will say this again, though, Hand Stands are totally mental more than physical.

My time for this was 18:34 .

 

2 nights in a row, after being out for 2 weeks felt really good. Getting back into full swing.   I feel like I am at home in my gym with my awesome peeps.

To date, I am down 35 lbs! Oh yeah baby! I would love to be down another 15 by the end of the year, but I do not think that is realistic for me.  I have been losing about 5 lbs a month.  And with all the holiday food that will be coming and make its way to my face, its going to be a challenge.  But , you know, this year, I feel I am better equipped to make better decisions, and maybe will stay away from the 2nd serving of mashed potatoes.

 

And for some laughs – check out this cartoon:

   Thankgiving Cartoon

Hope you all have a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving !!!

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