Daily Rants and Raves

The Man Maker

Yes kids, Man Makers were the nemesis last night in class.  For those of you unfamiliar with Man Makers , let me explain.  So, I equate them to a Burpee on steroids.  Here is how they are done:


Yeah, I know – totally awesome, right?!? Cha!!!! They are a killer, especially for me, since they are similar to a burpee which I struggle with.  So, let’s go over how I did.  For starters, we did 100 sit ups.  I banged out 20 pretty quickly, then the rest were a struggle.  The goal was to do them as fast as possible to move on the man makers.  I am already feeling the sit ups, whenever I laugh, go figure.  So, finished those up, last as usual, then onto the man makers.

We had to do 30 Man Makers.   I really need to get myself some gloves for when we do these types of moves, I always use some towels over the dumb bells so my hands don’t hurt as bad.  So, I haven’t done man makers in a while but I thought I could do a few at a time and chip away at it.  I ended up doing 2 at a time.  And honestly, the hardest part was the clean and squat thrust for me.  I could barely get my arms up.  I thought I was going to drop the dumb bells on my head.  And , I have been using the 35 lb weight lately, but I knew there was no way that was going to happen, so I went down to 22 lbs.  All in all, I felt the Man Makers defeated me, badly.  I was the last to finish.  Which, that is fine for me, but still stings.  I completed the 100 sit ups and 30 Man Makers in 24:05 .

Then it was onto rope climb practice.  I tried again, more like Tarzan swinging from the vine, but at least I tried. I can get myself off the ground, I just cannot move myself up the rope, which of course, is the point.

Last night I left class exhausted and feeling defeated.  For as long as I have been doing this I feel I should be a lot better at things.  And some things, I totally am.  The reality is, I am still carrying 235 lbs and no matter what, things will still be a struggle.  I have to always remind myself that this is a lifestyle change and it does not happen over night.  Honestly, I see this process taking me years to be where I want, and from there it is upkeep.

I am determined to keep moving and keep going.  To Keep Swimming.  I use my ” Just Keep Swimming” mantra everyday.  I am afraid if I stop swimming, I will sink and never return to the surface. I have to keep going.

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Daily Rants and Raves

Commit to it!



Well folks, I am absolutely exhausted.  Pooped! Tonights class kicked my ass.  But, I said I would post every day, and that is what I am going to do.   Gotta commit!!! And follow  through.

Here’s tonights workout and how I did:

we were given 30 minutes

50 Squats  ( my squats are getting better, but still need work)

40 Double unders ( i did 40 attempts, still can’t get them! Ugh)

30 Power Cleans – did 55 lbs

20 Burpees ( The Devil, the freakin devil. Burpees are my downfall, every WOD that has burpees, I am guarenteed to finish last or not at all)

10 Toes to Bar ( not there yet, so I did knee raises on the bar)

5 Rope Climbs ( Cha! That wasn’t going to happen, did 25 ring rows instead)

10 TTB

20 Burpees ( even worse this set, Thought I was going to puke and cry or both, but I kept saying, just keep swimming! and eventually I finished)

30 Power Cleans

40 DU – ( time ran out, so I did 120 regular jumps)

50 Squats

I went over time, thankful to new coach Linda, for letting me finish.  And my amazing classmates, Cristal, Maria, Nicole and Jen for cheering me on.  I haven’t finished that last in a while.  It sucked.  But it just cements the fact that I have so much farther to go.  I will get everything. I will be able to conquer these moves.  We have a long way to go.  Its gonna be a long swim.  But aren’t you excited?!?! Its going to be AMAZING!

On a side note : I was honked at today.  Silly, I know, but It has been a long ass time since I was honked at.  Hooray for strangers recognizing your efforts!!! LOL!

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Daily Rants and Raves

Swimming Wonder Woman

Finally returned to class last night. Gosh it feels good!

Last night we had wall climbs, front squats, toes to bar and lateral hops.  I have not been able to do anything on the bar, let alone toes to bar, but my coach said lets give it a try.  So I did, and wouldn’t you know – I could jump up to the bar and lift my knees! I know, not ” toes to bar” but it was lifting up myself and I was on the bar!!! Victory! And boy do my palms  still hurt!

Tonight was a circuit .  I really don’t care for these ones, but I do it.  So we had sandbag sprints, floor presses, jump lunges ( had to do reverse lunges) rope pull ups, bench dips and jack knifes.  I really surprised myself tonight .  The sandbags, we used the heavier of the 2 we had, honestly, I don;t know the weight, but I tossed that baby up over my head and onto my back no problem at all.   The sprinting part was more like a fast walk/saunter/ jog, but I got the sandbag up! Floor presses, I don’t usually have an issue with, so I went heavier tonight and went with the 25 lb dumb bells.  The jump lunges, I still can’t do, so I had to do reverse lunges.  Then, the rope pull ups, I can’t do those for shit.  And my palms hurt so much from last night’s workout.   Then we had bench dips, I can somewhat do those.  But then – the jack knifes.  When I saw the giant ball I was trying to see what we were going to do with it.  I had never done them before.  So, during the workout instruction, I asked , and got to be the guinea pig.  Sweet Baby Jesus was that fun!  The rolling around on the ball to get on and off was pretty hilarious too.  Imagine my fat ass rolling around – seriously – it was funny.

Now more than ever, I need to take care of myself.  I am on the right path, and I feel so good knowing that I kinda veered off the path and was able to get right back on.  I have not been able to do that before.  I can honestly say I love working out.  I love the sense of accomplishment.  I love the smaller clothes! I love feeling better! Feeling healthier! So, I am not a complete health food nut, so what? I am doing this baby steps and small swims.

I have to keep swimming.  I find myself saying this now even when I am not working out.  I gotta stay afloat. I feel like I am sinking in so many aspects of my life right now, drowning even.  Somehow, I am making it work.  I got the drive, just waiting for the payoff I suppose.  I have to get healthy, I have to be here for my family.  I don’t want my poor decisions to hurt them down the road.

I feel like this whole process ( and some prozac, lol) is helping me with how I handle things.  We are all stronger than we think.  I think this is bringing out my inner Wonder Woman.  images


Damn Right I am Wonder Woman! I think there is a little bit of her in all of us.  Grab your ropes folks! We have some got ass kicking to do!


On another note, Mum is still in the hospital,thought things were getting better and now not so much.  She is still holding steady and has such a great outlook.  Thank you to everyone for your well wishes and kind thoughts.  It means the world <3!!!

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Things to Think About

It has not been a good week….

Honestly, that is an understatement.  It has been a horrible, shitty, terrible, emotionally draining week.

My mother was admitted to the hospital on Monday and has been there ever since.  She is very ill.  She has a slew of medical issues which make everything so much worse.  This time it was trouble breathing that sent her to the ER.  She is still on oxygen.  There is so much more, but to relive and go through all her issues, we would be here all night.  There is no greater fighter on this earth than my mother.  I thank God for her everyday and pray to God every night that I get just one more minute with her. She has a crazy positive outlook on life, finding the happiness within the darkest hours.  That is what gets us through.  I just want her to be better and to not be in pain.  I want her to be “normal” like she wants.  She deserves better than the hand she has been dealt, but she handles it with grace.

So, as of this week , I have not worked out.  I need to get back.  I feel my body expanding.  Every night this week I went to work and went straight from work to the hospital.  I could of gotten a walk in when I got home from all that, but I am so tired.  I way overstuffed my face this weekend, thinking , I will be at class next week and work it off. Ugh.

And this is what always happens to me. I get going, I am doing great, feeling good – then bam! My world is rocked. Something happens and I fall off the wagon, rather, have that terrible wagon wreck.  Just so happens this time my world is my Mom.

Now more than ever, I need to be healthy.  I need to be my best.  So this time – my world is not being rocked – more like a slight bobble.  I will be back at my classes next week, continue to eat better and succeed! I need to keep swimming, for my momma.  She is so proud of me and this journey and I can’t let her down.

How do you deal with the bumps in the road that come up?

This is the board in my Mom’s room with our goals for her 🙂


Good night everyone! Hug your Momma’s tight!

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Another night of running…..

So yes, tonight we had to run.  The WOD was supposed to have a 1 mile run at the beginning of the workout and at the end, knowing my struggles, my coach asked me what I wanted to do.  I knew we were running today, so, I wanted to do it.  I have not been able to run a mile without stopping yet, so I was mentally gearing myself up for tonight.  I chose to do the mile run at the beginning of the WOD.

I went into it thinking that if I make it back in 15 minutes, I’d be happy with that, but my real goal was to do it without stopping or walking.  So, off we go, there was only like 6 or 7 of us, I always bring up the rear, lol.  Honestly, I think I would feel more pressure if I was in with the crowd.  But I just kept at my pace and kept saying over and over again

” Just Keep Swimming”

Over and Over and Over again… just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming….. Next thing I knew, I was back at the gym.  I finished the mile in 16.06 minutes, not the 15 I was shooting for – BUT I DID IT WITHOUT STOPPING AND THAT WAS MY GOAL! WHOO HOO!!!!!

I am so damn happy! I always need to finish the workouts, but tonight, I was like, if I finish, I finish.  I was so happy with the fact that I could run the mile without stopping.  I did finish the work out by the way.  Just not the 2nd run, but that is just fine with me.

Progression is great, and I love the fact that I am actually seeing it.  This is such a cool feeling.  Can’t wait to see what is in store for me on this journey!  Its been such an amazing experience so far.


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Let’s be honest here….

I have had a major triumph this week so I am going to get right down to it – let’s be honest.  Up until this point I have not shared my exact weight, just how much I have lost.  But after thinking about it = I am damn proud of what I have lost and I am committed to never go back.  So, here goes….

When I started this journey in February of this year, my ” oh shit” weight, was 269.7 pounds.  I know, I can’t believe it either.  I was a tight size 22, even wearing some 24’s.  I was a 2x switching up to 3x.  I was a mess.

I write to you today at 244 pounds, able to get a size 16 on ( and zip and sit in it) with my size 22’s being way too big.  For those of you doing the math, that is 25.7 pounds.  Holy Shit.

This is an amazing journey I am on and honestly, I love it.  I am utterly ashamed that it took me so long to get off my ass and do something.  Through this journey, I have met some incredible people.  In the world and on the world wide web, lol.

I am changing my family – we cut out soda.  Drinking mainly water and some crystal light.  I decided to reward myself tonight with some pizza, I ate pizza like you would never see it again, I stuffed my face with 4 slices of extra cheese pizza from Tripoli’s.   

It was soooooooo good.  Then came on the Ugh.  

I still feel like Ugh.  I wish I didn’t eat that much and my body is telling me that too.  My boys and I were talking about it and how we have been eating better, not as much crap, like the soda and how our bodies don’t respond well to the crap anymore.  My son Ty was telling me they found a bottle of soda the other day and when they went to drink it  it made them sick, they couldn’t drink it.  It didn’t taste good anymore.  I am so thankful that this is spilling over to my family, no matter how small the changes.  They are all for the better.

So, I had a moment of weakness, another lesson learned.  I need to stop the impulse face stuffing.  I gotta just keep swimming.

Looking forward to getting my ass handed to me in class tomorrow, I need it.

Honestly 🙂

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Daily Rants and Raves

It’s the Little Things….

It really is the little things that make the difference , good and bad.

I am gonna start off with bad – to get it out of the way -.  I am having a very hard time with my quads and doing a quad stretch, you know the one where you grab your foot behind your back?


I CANNOT do this.   I keep trying, but class after class, I am still unable to do it.  It drives me nuts!  Every class we do a walking quad stretch and I have to go off to the side and try to do something to stretch it out.  I know in time I will get it, but it still stinks.  My coach showed me a stretch I can do at home, tried it out, and ouch! I can see why it will work!  Hopefully I will be able to grab my foot, until then I will keep on trying.

So, now onto the good 🙂

In my office there are 2 floors, usually I am out of breath at the top of the stairs.  This week we had some sort of crisis and I was running up and down the stairs – Running.   Not out of breath either!  A co – worker even commented on how my fitness classes must be working cause I was running up and down the stairs.

SO….. take the good with the bad I guess.  It’s the little things that will make the difference.  Gotta keep swimming!!!!

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Week in Review

It has been a big week!

Worked out Monday, Wednesday and Thursday.  Great workouts – finished all of them !  Medicine Ball Cleans are the devil – my legs finally stopped hurting, lol.  Met with my coach and got my measurements.  In 4 months at Befit ,     I have lost 10″!!!! Now that I have my workouts under control, need to step it up and work on the nutrition.   Worked out a plan with my coach and I think it is doable.

I am excited to step it up and take this to the next level.

Through this journey, I find its the little things that make all the difference.  For instance, I had a physical this week.  My doctor was thrilled I am working out and making a lifestyle change.  Then, he sends me to get blood work.  Ugh.  I hate having my blood drawn, not so much because I don’t like needles, its because I have ” bad veins”.  In other words, since I have been fat, it has been a bitch to get blood drawn.  Usually they give me some fresh out of phlebotomist school grad who is trying to prove themselves and I leave looking like a pin cushion that someone has tried to place a spell on.  Then there are the bruises that take weeks to heal.  And of course they use the tape that is not the cloth tape, so it hurts wicked bad when you pull the bandage off.  You know what I mean….    Anyways – this week – It was 1 and done!  It was amazing.  I gave the girl the story I give everyone who comes at me with a needle about my ” bad veins”.  She does the tap on the arms to see which one is best and she said they were both good, she picked the left and it was done!

Now, I am no doctor and have no medical training, but the only reason I can see that this was easier – was because I have lost weight.

Another Victory! Small but its another victory! Hooray!

I find myself over and over again saying Just Keep Swimming, and honest to goodness, I swear it works….. You gotta keep going no matter what.  I am kicking myself for not doing this sooner.

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And BTW – All that blood work came back Normal!

Things to Think About

Fast Food – Ugh

I am on vacation this week, so I checked in with my grandparents to see if they had any appointments I could take them to.  My grandparents are 88 and 89 years old.  Both of them can no longer drive.  Usually my mother is their usual chauffeur, but due to her recent bout with illness, they need some help.  Today’s trip included an appointment for my Gram, taking Gramps to CVS, taking both of them to BJ’s, then onto Wendy’s.  My kids adore my grandparents, I mean seriously, who wouldn’t?  My Gram kept saying while we were eating what a nice day it was.  That made my heart soar.  I cherish every moment with them and I know my kids do too.  But onto the nitty gritty ….

I was eating – at Wendy’s. 

My struggles with good eating are no secret.  That being said – I have made big strides in trying to eat better.  I have seriously cut down my soda intake, most of the time choosing water instead.  I am not eating as many sweets.  I am trying to eat some more protein.  I gotta be doing something right since I am down 20 pounds! 

I have not had ” Fast Food” in months.  McDonald’s, Wendy’s, Burger King – it has been months – other than coffee.  And boy did my body let me know it!  My stomach was tossing and turning over and over.  It was horrible.  Don’t get me wrong, the Pretzel Bread Bacon Cheeseburger, sure tasted yummo, but I cannot allow myself to veer off path like this again .  For sure I will not forget the aftermath.  I really think my body was not used to the food.  So, not only did I emotionally feel horrible after eating, but I was physically feeling horrible.  

Even my 10 year old said it was probably my body not used to the food.  And as much as that sucked royally going through it – how cool is that, that I have detoxed myself out of Fast Food?  Yea Me!

So, in the end, I know Wendy’s was a bad choice for me, but I learned a lesson and that is another step in the right direction.  As long as we learn and grow from our mistakes, we can only get better!

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Feelin’ Pretty Darn Good

Lately my life has been a shit show – lots going on at home, slammed at work, sick family, broken car…. I am just plain stressed out.  I have dedicated myself to myself and I can say that, you know what? I am sticking to it despite the whirlwind around me.   And you know what else? It feels Pretty Darn Good!

Tonight’s workout was all about Kettlebell’s.



I think I did pretty good.  And – personal victory – I finished with time to spare.  Granted it was 10 seconds, but it was still time!

I finished exhausted but so proud! And that is the thing…. I love working out.  I really do, never thought I would say that or feel that, but I do.  I will gripe and sweat and wish I could stop during the workout, but I keep going – always keep swimming! Cause the feeling at the end – is AMAZING.

Nothing can beat it! It is such a cool feeling, knowing what I am doing, and completing it!   I can’t wait to see what I can accomplish further down the road, and I am just beginning.

Hope you are enjoying reading along and coming for the swim!   Feel free to share your stories of triumphs or personal victories!

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