Things to Think About

Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever

” Just Know I Say I Love You And Hello Forever ”   is one of the last coherent things my sweet Gram said to me.  She was in CCU at the hospital and she knew she was getting ready to take her final journey.  It means so much to me, that I got it tattooed on my forearm, so I can always look at it and she will always be right within arms reach.

My Gram Tattoo

Thanksgiving is spent at Gram and Gramp’s house every year.  I have been dreading it.  I know as soon as I walk in that house and she is not at the stove, and then not at her chair, I am going to be a puddle.  I have been trying to prepare myself as best I can, but I am failing.  I miss her so very much.  I’m kinda hoping that writing this today will help me.

Honestly, its not like I have not dealt with loss before,  I have.  Plenty of folks have left us for better places. I just miss her so terribly.

It’s no secret I love bread .  I love my rolls too.  And every year I would walk in and Gram would say to me  how she got some nice rolls  for dinner.  That came across my mind yesterday and I lost it.  It’s funny how the little things bring back the most memories.

I know the best way to handle it and to honor her is to go today so we can all be together like she would of wanted.  I just wish she was here instead.  Not to mention, this will all happen again on Christmas Eve because that is another holiday spent at their house.

So – to honor my Gram I am sharing with you some photos of this amazing woman.  Things that bring such joy to me when I see them.

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4 Generations

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These are just some of the pictures I have .  Gram loved all of us so very much and she made sure we always knew it.

I am blessed.  I am honored.  I am thankful. I am lucky.  I had 35 years with an incredible woman in my corner.  My children had the rarity of having a long relationship with a great grandparent, who she adored and they adored her.  My husband got another grandmother.  My friends got another grandmother.

She was everyone’s Gram.  That was so evident during her services.

On Thanksgiving , she would always make sure everyone had a plate to eat before she would even allow anyone to prepare anything for her.  I feel like I should bring her a plate today , and maybe I will.

Hug your loved ones tight, let them know how much you love them, EVERYDAY.

No matter how old they are , no matter how sick, no matter how healthy, no matter how far you are.  Let those you love know they are loved.

 

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone,

Meg

 

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Things to Think About

Shit Happens – It is how you deal with it that defines us

Happy Sunday Everyone!

It’s been almost 2 months since my last post.  Let me explain, here goes…

The past 2 months have been tough.  My beloved Gram took a turn for the worse, and on July 22, she made her final journey.  At exactly 90 1/2 years old, she lived a long wonderful life.  I have been so very lucky to have had my Gram for 35 years.  My children had a relationship with their great-grandmother.  I know so many people who don’t have that, who have never had that.  We really are so fortunate, but, it doesn’t make it hurt any less.  I miss her terribly.  I always will.  But I know she is up there looking down and making sure we are okay.

 

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So, how does this play into my journey?  Things don’t always work the way we plan.  We have to adjust.  We have to regroup.  I planned on getting back into my routine.  I didn’t plan on going to the hospital all the time.  I didn’t plan on being at the hospice everyday.  Would I change a second of it? Or regret my decision ? Absolutely not.  As much as my physical health I am working on, my mental health is important too.   Being there for the end with my sweet Gram means more to me .

And that is okay.  Shit Happens to all of us.  Something derails us for whatever reason – big or small.  But you get through it.  You can’t let the shit be the end of your journey.  Honestly, this whole year of mine has been Shit.  But, you know what? I am here.  Still trying.  Still moving .

Still swimming.

So, here I am .  Still going.  More weight on than ever before.  I feel like I am bursting out of my skin.  And now that the dust has settled,   Its time to get back at it.  This week I got in 2 workouts and started watching what I eat.

I feel great.

Wednesday I worked on Front Squats.  My 1 Rep Max was 90 lbs.  I know this is not my best, but I will keep working at it.  Squats are always something I struggle with.

After the front squats it was time for a complex.  Power Cleans x Hang Cleans x Front Squat – I did this at 55 lbs.  I was so glad I could do this with actual weight added to the bar.  I have been out of it and not working out regularly , basically the whole year.  So, for me to be able to feel confident in the weight, it was awesome.

Thursday was 2 work outs in 1 class.  Coach Jane took some videos of me as I was working out.  For the life of me, I cannot get them to load to this post.  If I can figure out, I will post later.

1st workout was :

3 rounds 1 minute each

Alt DB snatch – 20 lbs. I used to be able to do 35 lbs.  But when I picked up the 20 lb DB, I was like , oh man, its gonna hurt! I made it through, but boy that 20lbs got heavier and heavier

 

Row – I made it to 100 meters each time

Wall climb hold – this was supposed to be a handstand hold, And I geared myself up for it, but I was a mental case and could not get myself to commit and go down for the handstand.  I opted for the wall climb hold.  It was a lot more difficult with all this extra weight on.  My last round , I thought my arms were going to snap.  They were shaking like crazy.

The 2nd workout was at the park down the street.

Walking lunges, suicide sprints, wall balls, mountain climbers.  All while dodging the goose droppings all over the place.

Have you ever had a moment when you realized that you changed?  For me, no matter what the size, I have always been self conscious.  If it thought something was too tight, or didn’t look good on me, I would not go out in it.  So, how did I know I ‘ve changed?

There I was – in my workout gear.  Rolls and fat and sweat and all.  Outside in public.  Busting my ass to complete the workout.

And not one shit was given.

I am finally in a place where I feel we are moving past this shitty year and resuming normal life. Rising above our challenges  is never easy.  But we cannot let it have the last word.  Shit happens.  Life Happens.   It’s how you chose to deal with it.  I choose to keep going.

What about you?  How do you handle it when shit happens?  Is it the end of the world? Do you move on?  How do you rise above?

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