Daily Rants and Raves

The Hopes, The Dreams, The Goals ( in no particular order)

I was asked to post a blog about my hopes, goals and dreams.

I have really thought about this and it is so much harder than you might think.

images-6

We all have them.  If you say you don’t – you are lying.  But some are so much more realistic than the others, fantasies, pipe dreams, if you will.

Pipe Dreams

These are the easy ones.  You know, the usual. The things we want and are impossible or just so far out of reach.

Win the lottery – I will say thought, if I won the lottery, I would take care of my family and close  friends.  I would donate to charities.  I have even thought of starting a charity of my own to help folks.

Own a Maserati – I love them!

Travel the world – Bora Bora, oh man, do I want to go there so badly.  A wee bit on the pricey side for us, but  if I win the lottery, it wouldn’t be an issue.

Most importantly , above all else – I want my family to be healthy. 

I want my mothers sicknesses to disappear.  I want both her kidneys to function properly.  I want her to feel good.  I want my sister to not be a diabetic anymore.  I want her to see good and not need glasses anymore.  I want my dad to quit smoking like a damn chimney.  I want his diabetes to go away.  I want him to be stress free and not have to worry about my mother.  I want my grandfathers vision and hearing to return.  I want him to be able to enjoy conversations with us and his great grand children.  And see them.  See us.  I want my grandmother to be able to stand straight and not have to worry about if she is going to fall.  I don’t want her to be in pain.  I could go on and on.  The bottom line is, I just want everyone to be healthy.  Unfortunately, sometimes, these things just aren’t in the cards.  I suppose the only silver lining is that these things make  us who we are.

 

Hopes and Goals

My greatest hope is that my children are happy , safe, and healthy.  I do say my prayers each night and this is what I always ask for.  Of course I hope that financially we will be okay.  I would to be comfortable.  I hope we will be able to purchase a decent home in a decent area.

I hope I can finally find the strength within myself to get back fully on my track.  I have let myself down so much this year.  I need to get this back together.  I hope I can finally get my tookus under 200 lbs.  That is a huge goal. I just gotta do it. Its just taking me forever and I keep derailing myself. I hope I can be all I want and all I see myself as being.

I hope to be happy.  I hope to stay happy.

I hope to continually inspire someone to think, ” Hey , if this chick can do it, then I can”  I hope someone out there follows my story and decides its never too late to get off your butt and make better decisions. I get such amazing feedback from you guys – it is so incredible.

 

In the end , I suppose it all breaks down to I just want to be happy and want my family to be healthy.  Do we really need more than that?

 

How about you?  What are your hopes and dreams?  No matter how realistic or attainable, I want to hear them!

 

Blog Signature

 

 

 

 

Milestones, Things to Think About

Chips and Dead Lifts

First, I gotta say, tonight was fantabulous.  Simply fantabulous.

I want to first go over ” chips”.  In my gym, we use chips to keep track of our rounds.  Not sure if every gym does this, but we do.  For me, its not about how many chips are there, the chips themselves represent accomplishment.  On every level.  And I suppose that yes, I  can count to 5 all by myself and keep track on my own, but what fun is that?  It is the best feeling to see all the chips you took moved from the start pile to the finish.  Its symbolic.  I look forward to seeing those chips go from pile to pile.  Now granted, for me, usually I am over confident and not all my chips move.  Some times its only a few.  But it truly is what they represent that is the point.

Here is a pic of tonights chips :

5 Chips = 5 Rounds = Happy Meg
5 Chips = 5 Rounds = Happy Meg

We had a 10 minute WOD = 5 rounds:

6 Alternating DB snatches – went up to 40 lbs on this. You guessed – PR BABY!

8 Hands release push ups

12 V ups

Time 9:30

I LOVE SNATCHES.  Go ahead and get your dirty little snickers out of the way, yes, its funny…  But I love barbell snatches, Dumb bell snatches, Kettle Bell snatches.  I have always had an easier time with the move, so I think that is why I  have always enjoyed them.

The WOD was after the strength portion of the evening, which was Deadlifts.

 

Tonight my friends, was an epic night for yours truly.  I crushed a goal.  Crushed.  Exceeded.  Boom.  Bang.  That just happened!

Some of you may have read my post back from January regarding doing the Crossfit Total WOD , where I dead lifted 210 lbs.  I did the 210 and I clearly remember the struggle to get to 215.  I couldn’t get the bar off the ground for 1 rep.  I remember the defeat I felt.  I was still super proud I got to the 210 but Man, I wanted the 215.

Guess what kids?  I DID IT!!!! I DID 215 LBS!!! NOT JUST 1 REP BUT 4 TOTAL!!! yeah, yeah, I know not that many but Oh My Freaking God, does it feel AWESOME!!!!

Here is a pic of the big moment.

 

 

215 Lbs Baby!!!
215 Lbs Baby!!!

 

IMG_0758
Not a pretty pic, but such a pretty feeling!

I understand these photos are not flattering by any way shape or form, and I will proudly say, ” I DO NOT CARE”

These photos represent a goal.  A goal I crushed.  A new goal being created.  And I suppose I could go the way of the main stream and  photoshop my big ol belly from hanging over the bar. But Fuck that, I earned this shit. The belly will go down, And I will continue to rise and be strong.

 

This is what a real person with real goals and real struggles and real rolls and real obesity looks like.  She ain’t pretty, but she is damn fantastic.

I am a work in progress and I am damn happy with the way I am going.

I do have to give a big shot out to my coach Jane who was such a pusher and so awesome when I asked her to take my picture.

I feel like my train is getting back on her tracks and things are getting to be where they need to be for me.  Every day, I tell myself ” Just Keep Swimming”  I keep going and I don’t stop.  Nothing worth fighting for was ever earned easily.

So , get out there and be your own hero. Put on your cape, Put on your rope, grab your cuffs, get your shield, hop in your Batmobile and get going.

 

Own the day, Seize the Day, Claim the Day.

 

I would to see pictures of you folks and your PR’s!  If you would like to share, send them to lessthighsmorethunder@gmail.com.

 

Blog Signature

 

 

 

 

Daily Rants and Raves

Progress is Progress No Matter How Small!

images-5

 

 

I had a great week last week work out wise.  I worked out 4 times last week.  I was really happy with that.

My Saturday workout I was really pleased with.

Here is how I did:

10 Front Rack Alt Lunges 35 lbs – I could not add weight to the bar for these, my lunges still need work.

5 Hand Stand Push Ups = Okay, so I am up on the wall, I can’t do the full push up , but I can stay on the wall and bend my arms, which Coach Jane said is the first step – so PROGRESS!

20 Hollow Rocks – Ugh, these are hard!

It was 20 min AMRAP – I got 5 rounds and into the 6th by finishing the lunges.

 

So, I am not getting down on the HSPU, but I am on the wall! Whoo Hoo! And I am staying up on the wall!!! And I can bend my arms!!! I was soooo happy with this! So yes, its small progress, but it is progress!

I had moments this week with the HSPU.  They are such a mental exercise.  I was psyching myself out, totally.  It took me a bit to get into the zone.  It is a lot of weight to hold up!

 

This past week I also got started with my gyms 60 Day Goal Challenge.  Basically we have indiviualized goals we want to work on .  We are given homework to work on.  We have 60 days to work on our goals, and at the end of the 60 days the person with the most points wins $$$$.  I am doing it more to work on my goals than the money, but its a nice incentive.

My Goals are :

20 Consecutive Double Unders

10 Pull Ups unbroken with green and tan band

Deadlifts – need to set my base line, but I wanted to do 5×175 lbs, but since I just did 210 on the deadlifts, we have to reassess this

Hand Stand Push Ups = So, what I wanted to do was the push up part, since I could do the hand stand part.  Now that I am at the point where I can bend my arms, we have to assess it and come up with my plan for those.

Also as part of this, there is a weekly challenge for everyone to participate in if we choose.  This week was 50 Double Unders for Time.  My time was 5:23.  Honestly I thought it would take me longer.  I was only able to get 4 in a row , but at least I did 50.  I worked on my double unders all week, before each class I was jumping away.  I still did not get to where I want to be with them, still have a ways to go.

I feel really great about where I am going and how I am doing right now.  I had my moment last week getting upset over the running, but I moved on.  The old Meg would probably of kept harping on it and let it keep her down.  That is not me anymore.

Blog Signature

 

Daily Rants and Raves

Past Week

images-3

I will admit, I had a bit of a meltdown over that running workout.  But I got right back to it and worked out Wednesday and Thursday last week.  I have to give a big Thank You to everyone who took the time to comment, message me and share your kind words over my feelings with my running.  You guys are awesome!

So, this is how I did this week:

Wednesday

Rope Climb Practice – I can get on the rope now.  Off the ground, dangling and swinging, but I cannot climb it.  I still have a long ways to go.

40 seconds on, 20 seconds rest – 3 rounds each station

Rowing

Box Jumps 12″ – I foolishly attempted the 20″ box – got a nice bruise and scrape from that one.

Burpees

Wall Ball Sit Ups – 14 lbs

Kettlebell Swings – overhead – 35 lbs

Walking Plank Push Ups

Even though each interval was on 40 seconds, it was hard work!  And my leg was really sore for the box jump fail.

Thursday

Barbell Snatch practice 35 lbs

3x 5 reps

20 Minute AMRAP

2 Turkish Get Ups R/L = 4 total  18 lb kettlebell

8 Toes To Bar – modified to knee raises

10 Pistols – used 12″box and 2 plates as a spot

I completed 5 rounds.

This workout I was dreading, I hate TGU’s, but I have to say, they were sooooo much better than I thought they were going to be.  I was super pleased with that.  Those have been dogging me for a while now.

Even though I started the week out with feeling like shit over my workout, it ended on a high note.

Blog Signature

Milestones, Things to Think About

2014 Goals

images-2

 

 

I figured I would do a goal post, lol…

I like putting my thoughts down and I thought a list I could refer to would be good.  So here goes:

*Lose total of 100 lbs by the end of the year   – Not so sure this is really attainable, but I would love to be down 100 from where I started. 62 lbs to go !

*Run at least (3) 5k’s – and get my times down by at least 5 minutes – already signed up for 1!

*Get out of plus size clothes! – This is a big one for me, I really would love to fit comfortably in clothes without having to shop in a special section.

*Be able to do walking quad stretches – This is one thing that keeps eluding  me .  I fucking hate it – I want to be able to do this so badly.  I am really frustrated that I can’t do this yet.  I have to keep at it. This one WILL Happen this year – fo sho.

*Increase my box for box jumps – I am currently on the 12″ box, sometimes with plates on them.

* Plank for 2 minutes – This is going to be  a difficult one

* Get off the tan band for pull ups – I have got to get stronger and better at pull ups

* Deadlift 200 lbs  – I am up to 150 lbs, so another 50 I think should be doable by the end of the year, right? We’ll see.

* Lose the back rolls – almost there!

* Be comfortable in my own skin – So, yes, more mental than physical, but still a goal.

* Spartan Race November 2014 – I want to be ready and not make a fool of myself

* Wear white pants without someone following me with a projector thinking they have found a moving drive in

* Master Double Unders – I can do them, but I want to be able to do more than 20 in a row

* Master Hand Stand Push Ups – I can do the handstand, gotta master the push up

* Improve my lunges and squats – yes I can do these, but there is always room for improvement

* Climb the rope! – I want to climb it, not just dangle at the bottom of it.

* Be Happy with myself –  Now this one my friends, will be so much harder to attain than any of the stuff listed here, but perhaps it is the most important to me.  I really do want to be happy with myself and happy with who I am .

This journey is so much more than a journey – It is a lifestyle and a life changer.  I am committed to keep going and make myself the best me I can be.  I know it sounds corny, but its true.  I gotta Keep Swimming!

Keep checking back throughout the year to see how I do!

How about you? What are you goals for this year? I’d love to read them!

Blog Signature

Things to Think About

What I Want My Kids To Know About Why I Am On This Journey

Hello there folks! It’s been a bit I know .  I have been really busy this week.  Which got me thinking more and more about why I made this decision to get fit.  After roller skating with my daughter on Sunday, check my blog post  Roller Gurl, I was really thinking about this and how much this process has changed me. My children are the most important people on the planet to me and I am honest with them.  Sometimes though, it is easier to write what we want to say to get our thoughts across the right way. So here goes.

For my kids – What I want you to know about why I am on this journey:

I WANT TO BE HEALTHY. I know it probably doesn’t seem that I want to be healthy, but I want to be around as long as possible for you.  I want to see you grow up and be successful in what ever endeavours you choose.  At 269 lbs, that was not something that was going to work for my plan to be around. Our family has so many health problems as it is, I did not want to welcome one more.  Especially Diabetes, since we have many diabetics in the family.

I DO NOT GIVE UP.  I know you have seen me do things and quit out or stop doing it when it gets hard, be it a video game or some craft.  I haven’t been the best example of not giving up.  This has been the biggest change in myself through this process.  I don’t give up.  I keep going.  I keep swimming.  I know I say it all the time.  And yes, it comes from Finding Nemo. But the reality is, that silly little phrase ” Just Keep Swimming” has kept me going.  I remember the first time I started saying it. It was a running class and it was so hard for me.  I mean, ridiculously hard for me.  And I wanted to just lie right in the middle of the road, curl up in a ball and quit.  And I started saying it.  ” Just Keep Swimming” over and over again.  I know its crazy, but it helps me immensely.  I am determined to finish every workout, and usually that means finishing last, but that is so okay with me, cause I finish.

I WAS SCARED. I was terrified after my first class .  I could barely jump rope.  Everyone can jump rope.  BUT, I STRUGGLED.  It was in that moment thinking ” Why can’t I do this?” that really terrified me and I knew that if I did not make a change , then I would not be around for everything I want .

I WAS EMBARRASSED. I was embarrassed for you all to be around me.  It was embarrassing being the one trying to squeeze onto rides at Canobie Lake.  It was embarrassing being the one squeezing onto the plane and trying to fit down the aisle when we went to Disney.  I was embarrassed huffing and puffing trying to keep up as we trekked around Disney.  It is my hope that I didn’t effect you in my embarrassment.

I WAS OKAY WITH BEING OVER WEIGHT.  I know I would complain with being overweight, but deep down, I WAS OKAY WITH IT.  If it bothered me that much I would of done something and I would not of taken me so long to get off my butt. The first step of the journey is being fed up.  And when I reached that point, I took action.  Facing reality is often way harder than dealing with the world we think is around us.  And being over weight is okay for some people.  It just got to the point where it wasn’t for me anymore.

I AM HAPPY WITH MY DECISIONS. I am so very happy with the decision I have made to get fit.  It is not a chore, it is something I look forward to.  It is a lifestyle change, not a fly by night trend I am diving into .  Above all, I want you to know that if you are happy with yourself, then the rest will all fall into place.

NOTHING WORTH GAINING IS GAINED BY TAKING THE EASY ROAD.  You, my 3 babes, are the masters of your own destinies.  What ever you want is possible.  You have to work hard for what you want and work hard at it.  There are no easy answers.  And, yes, it stinks.  But sometimes, the journey to the answer is just as fun as if you did find the short cut.

I HAVE FITNESS GOALS. I do, I have several, and they keep changing as I get better.  But the important thing is, once I get to a goal, I move onto another one, it is a constant process.  I am constantly striving to be a better me and give more in my workouts.  I have so many goals I am trying to reach.  I just chip away at them until I reach it, then its onto the next.  It is tremendously helpful.

I AM PROUD OF MYSELF.  This for me is a hard one to say, or write.  But its true, I have been busting my butt – and I am darn proud.  I hope I make you all proud some day too.

IMG_0452
My kiddos – It was bright that day, that is why they are squinting 😉

I love you all ❤

Blog Signature

Things to Think About

Reflections

My kids are back to school today .  Not only does it make me feel old to have a high schooler, but I wish summer wasn’t over.

I have been trying on my days off of class to do some form of exercise, be it a walk or a run, something.  So, Sunday, I convinced my husband to go out with me.   He wouldn’t run, but we had a long walk.  We talked a lot about fitness and working out.  His reasons for not and my rebuttals shooting him down.  One of the things he commented was that ” it was like talking to a new Megan”  Coming from my husband who I have seen every day for just about 20 years, this meant a lot.   We walked over 2 miles, and honestly I probably could of gone farther.

I am a new Megan.  I have pride in myself and my fitness.  I have goals.  I have a direction.  I may bobble on my path, but I don’t fall off of it.  My wagon may get into a fender bender, but it is not a total loss like it was before.  I am adapting and yes, this is a slow process, but I wouldn’t change it for a moment.  I am learning about myself, my body and people in general.  We all have greatness within us, its just lighting the spark and taking the chances that makes the difference.

Most of you have ended up here because we are on the same journey, some of us just starting out, some months in, some years in, but who cares how long its taking?  WE are doing better for ourselves.  Its a process and a lifestyle change.  Kudos to us for keeping to it and perservering!

I am a firm believer in everything happens for a reason, and everyone one of those happenings shaped and molded us into the people we are today.

I choose to reflect on how I was, how I felt ,= and I am making damn sure she is not coming back!  I just gotta think of how good right now feels and how it will feel even better when I have more months under my belt.

Change is good.  Change is necessary.  We have to keep moving forward.  Keep  swimming  when we feel we have given all we can. Keep swimming  when you have sweat coming out of your eyeballs. Keep swimming when your body aches and it hurts to move.  It’s all good!  Its all great!

WE ARE DOING THIS AND WE ARE AMAZING! 

Never ever ever give up!

keep-calm-and-just-keep-swimming-178Blog Signature

Daily Rants and Raves

I did it again and even better!

I set my mind to run again today.  More prepared though, I  did my stretches before hand.  I was doing them in my hallway and as I was doing them, my daughter was happily following me and bumping into me as I did them. I think it’s great that my kids want to exercise with me and they want to join in, but it gets frustrating when I am trying to do what I need to do for me and I keep getting interrupted.  I am the type of person that once I start working out, I need to keep going, I can’t start, then stop, then start up again 15 minutes later.  That is whole reason I looked outside the house for a fitness program.  Call me selfish, but it took me long enough to get off my butt and move and I don’t want anything to deter me.

After my somewhat of a warm up, I headed out with my newly imported songs.  I found a bunch of old CD’s and imported them into the computer.  Gotta say, The Crow Soundtrack was awesome to workout to, especially the NIN track. It is also one of my most favorite movies, if you have not seen it – you need to.  I also love tossing in some 80’s tracks like          ” Sunglasses at Night” by Corey Hart. As I was searching for songs, my daughter said get ” Eye of the Tiger”.  What fitness playlist would be complete without that song? I know, odd choices when you put them together, but they got me moving.

So off I went.  Slowly, but I kept moving, and I swear that damn squirrel from yesterday is mocking me by running along near me, almost like ” Haha, I run faster than you!” Well, I don’t know for certain it was the same demon squirrel but it was in the same area….. just saying.

images-1

I kept going and left the mocking squirrel behind me.  I focused on the goal – to go farther than I had yesterday, which was my farthest run without stopping, over 1 mile.  I had the goal, I had the pace and I kept moving. I happened to look down and there they were, my sneaker laces flapping all over the place on my right foot.  So, I am moving along thinking, I can’t stop, the whole point is to go with out stopping, that is what I am doing here. Then, I am thinking, this is gonna look great when I trip face first and kiss the pavement. But, I was committed to my goal and I figured, if I fall, then I fall, it was meant to be, until then, I am going to keep moving myself along til I hit my goal.  ( Don’t try running with loose laces at home kids)

I kept going and saw it – my landmark, kept pushing and pushing, my calves on freakin fire!  And I DID IT! Ran a little bit farther than yesterday and still over 1 mile without stopping! That makes 2 days in a row that I, Megan Ashworth, ran over 1 mile without stopping! Holy Crap!   Then, I stopped and tied my sneaker.

I regrouped, and decided to walk back the way I came, back the way I started.  It was a beautiful day here in North Andover, so I took it in.  I kept walking back the way I came and all around, my guess is all in all I did 2-3 miles.  I am happy with that!  I need to get my stamina up for the JDRF Walk in October, I think I should be able to handle walking 5k no problem.

I “swam” my heart out this weekend – gotta keep swimming.  I just gotta.

Blog Signature

 

 

Daily Rants and Raves

One small lunge …..

One small lunge for Meg, One giant goal accomplished!

When  I started working out, my form was horrible as you would expect. Couldn’t lunge,  couldn’t squat, Christ, could barely stand straight.

I just kept on swimming, every class, keep trying. My amazing coaches Holly and Jane, kept me working at it, to get my range of motion down.

Then – lo and behold – I WAS LUNGING!!!!

Like I have said all along, I just gotta keep swimming along and doing my thing.  Everything else will fall into place.

 

So is it a giant deal?  To me it is.  And I am a happy gal.

 

Keep on moving! Keep on swimming and we will get there!

 

Meg 🙂

Daily Rants and Raves

Back in the Saddle

So, I basically took a week off last week due to my cousin’s passing.  Mentally, I couldn’t do anything, I was just kinda a  ball of mush, plus we had family things to take care of.  But, boy did I miss my classes.  Started back up on Saturday, and did a stretching class on Sunday. Felt good to be back to my normal routine.

Its nice to have a routine, but I really think my body needed to get back on track.  Imagine my fat ass, I threw it into this fitness regimen, then a week off, then back to it.  I bet my fat ass thought I was done – but I am not. No way baby!

Another personal victory – Saturday during the running portion of class, the first round, I kinda kept up with people! Holy shit!  They were probably just going kinda slower, but hey, I will take it! To not finish 20 minutes after everyone was such a great feeling.  Now, my second run, not so much, damn calves keep seizing up.  But with all the stretches and different techniques I have learned from my coaches, and hopefully with some weight loss, it will get better.  One step at a time!

Lets talk about goals  – we all got them , no matter how silly, how crazy, a goal means something to you, something we strive for.

fat-people-warning-amusement-ride-x

One of my goals is to not have to readjust my fat on the ride at Disney World when we go in May 2014.  Now if you have some junk in your trunk, you know what I am talking about.  If you are normal size, probably not so much.  Basically some rides, I exceeded the weight limit on ( which sucks). And other rides, that damn little bar came crashing down on my freaking stomach and felt so good as I was whipped around the rides.  It is uncomfortable.  It royally sucks, its embarrassing , and you don’t exactly want to announce it. So you go on skipping along, waiting in line for another 20 minutes to squeeze yourself under another ridiculous bar while some preteen comes by to check if ” You are in properly” Apparently they did not notice that I am going to need a 10 foot shoe horn to get my ass out of this thing.  Then there are the moments while you try to get out of the ride smoothly as to not embarrass yourself – cha!  You are hurrying, but you are fat, so when you hurry, you get out of breath  and you stumble off of the ride, looking and feeling like you just had a heart attack.

…..But then, oh look! No lines! Lets do it again!!!!

Its good to have goals folks, and I am confident I will reach this one!

Just keep swimming folks, and you will get there 🙂

Meg