I had a good run. From February to September has been the longest time I since I got sick that I have been relatively flare free. A few small little flares , but otherwise, its been good. The past month or so , I have noticed the flare getting worse. It hasn’t subsided.
Arm pits sore, necklace of pain in full effect. Whole Body soreness. I know I have said it before, I am so fucking over this.
I have an appointment with my Rhumy coming up, I am not even sure what he can do at this point. But I am going to try and be positive. I am hoping maybe something will explain why the sudden flare.
Its very hard to be positive. I am trying, I swear, its just so damn hard. No one understands , because no one knows what the fuck this is. Like, if you have a disease, chances are there are other patients who you can relate to and who understand what you are going through. With Meganitis, I ain’t got shit.
While I am thankful that this is not something that has killed me and I am thankful it is not worse than it is, it truly is awful. I have resigned myself to the fact that this is something I will never be able to give a proper name and that I will have to deal with the rest of my life. I just wish the treatment was working.
It’s a terrifying thought that I will potentially be in pain for the rest of my life. On the Brightside, I guess I can say that I now have a high tolerance for pain.
I am sorry for throwing the pity party. Some days this really just gets to me and the constant pain I have been in today is exhausting.
Thank you to all of you for coming on the swim with me. The ups and downs , its nice to have some company on the ride.