This week a co-worker and I were having a conversation that ended with me saying something along the lines of ” I am working out, I am getting muscles”
To which the reply was something like: “Yeah, yeah, we have heard that before , what makes this time around so special?”
I quickly retorted with: ” This time I have lost and kept off 14.5 lbs and I am losing inches!”
As much as I was thinking, ” Did you seriously just say that to me?” I have to admit, they were right. I have a distinct pattern. I am great for about 2-3 months, eating right, doing some sort of work out, then BAM! I fall off the wagon. And I don’t mean just a casual fall off the wagon, I mean a horrific wagon crash where there is no survivors and my wagon is totaled. I don’t just fall off and crash, I fall off, crash and torch the thing to pieces.
All of this is of course, why I am still struggling and still overweight.
But after that conversation , I have been thinking what IS Different this time? After long thoughts – here goes :
EVERYTHING IS DIFFERENT THIS TIME!
I have complete dedication to myself. I am working out steadily 3-4 times a week. Getting an amazing workout that I am proud to have completed and AMAZED that I completed. Things I never thought in my life I could do, or ever would do. I FEEL different. I find that if I go a couple of days without my workout, I miss it. I NEED it. Never had that feeling before. I admit, I still don’t eat as good as I could, and I have good days and bad. But I am trying new foods and trying to get better.
I have realized how unhealthy I am and how much that needs to change. Especially for my family. I want to be here for them as long as possible. I want them to be proud of me.
I HAVE LOST 14.5 LBS TO DATE! I have definitely lost inches too, but I have not measured yet. Hopefully at the end of month 3 working out, I can get my numbers.
My clothes fit better! I walk straighter ( weird thing to notice, but I do) I am getting stronger and I feel stronger.
I usually quit things when they get too tough, but not this! I use every move that I cannot do as a goal to keep me going.
I hate being last to things, As a kid in school, I hated turning in my test last, I had to be quick. I hate being last in line. I hate being last at video games, good Lord,I hate finishing last at any racing game. I am always early or right on time. But I am completely OK going at my own pace and finishing last at my workouts. These are things I have never done before, or if I have done them, for certain, not properly. Just the sense of accomplishment completing them is enough to wipe the “finishing last” complex from my mind.
The moral of this story kids, is The journey is a Story. Bad Chapters, Good Chapters, Long Chapters, Short Chapters. The great part is, I am the Author and its all up to me. Perhaps that is the greatest weight of all, the weight of personal goals. Cause in the end, the only person I let down is myself.
What’s so special this time? I actually give a shit.
Gotta keep swimming ! The rewards are so worth it!