Good evening my peeps,
Now, if you know me, you know that my self esteem has basically never existed. I have always had body issues, never felt I was pretty or good enough. Now, this in no means is any reflection on my upbringing. In fact, I had an amazing childhood full of family and friends and too many good memories to name. I just never felt good about me. And I suppose to this day, I still don’t but I am working on that. Hence this journey.
So – Pretty Plus was the line of Plus Size clothes for little girls from Sears when I was a kid. SO, of course having my issues, I wanted to be pretty – there fore wanted to be ” Pretty Plus.” but what the frack? Plus size for kids? We are creating kids that will have issues instead of helping them make good choices when they are young.
Welp, I certainly got the Plus part down, still not happy with the pretty part, but baby steps, right? Now, this story is one we in my family get a kick out of, because, yes its funny. And I suppose God’s cruel irony is this costume I am stuck in, but it got me thinking….
If you a woman, you know the frustration of finding the cutest piece of clothing and the devastation that it does not come in your size or better yet – you try and squeeze your fat ass into a smaller size and feel even worse than when you started. Why do we have to separate sizes? Why can’t clothing manufacturers make clothes in all sizes for every shape? the same cute dress in size 0-28? What is so hard about that? It totally sucks having to go to a ” Plus size” store when you just passed 10 stores that you would love to shop in. Just another reason I made the decision to get better with me. I want to wear the cute dress! I want to look good! I don’t want to be limited to horrific patterns in uncomfortable materials! ( You volupotous women out there know what I am talking about) Yes, clothing manufacturers, the way to make us larger ladies feel good is to give us limited items that look hideous. Maybe its a plot to motivate us to want to lose weight, lol. Mission Completed!
So this week my work outs have been a killa. Some of the hardest since I started. Monday night I laid there on the floor between reps, staring at the ceiling thinking ” I would love if that pipe fell right now and hit me in the head” then thinking ” Cause if that pipe falls, no way I can move out of the way” Then tonight, finished after time, but still finished! I HAVE TO FINISH! I am okay with finishing last, but for me, not finishing is not an option.
One of my biggest goals for my self is to rid myself of “X”‘s in my clothing and have clothing that does not start with “2” followed by another number. I don’t want to be PRETTY PLUS anymore. It is one of my driving forces.
It has taken me a long ass time to get in the right frame of mind. Its not easy and everyday I struggle with my self. But I know this is the right path and I need to JUST KEEP SWIMMING.
TIME TO DETHRONE JUNIOR MISS FATTY MCBUTTERPANTS 🙂
Keep Swimming my friends – you will get there .